Some of the happiest times I’ve had have been when I had no agenda, no plans, no deadlines. I remember one of the worst times I got burnt out when I was consulting. I took 2 days off and it was glorious. I worked on a website for a friend and took an aimless walk to the park. I sat outside at a restaurant by myself and had a beautiful salad and a glass of champagne. I left my phone at home and had no worries.

This morning I woke up at 3:30am with the feeling that... I wasn’t free. I no longer have a job and for all intent and purpose, I can do whatever I want every day. But the reality is that over the years, I’ve been trapping myself. I’ve been adapting and learning and hustling... always in response to some external factor. And then seeking external validation for what I’m doing. Always looking to others so that I can respond rather than act (if you study Human Design, I’m a Generator so I’m meant to respond). But lately that responding has felt more like reacting. Or so much of the responding happens in my own head without corresponding action — or at least public action.

So I woke up and asked myself, now that I don’t have anyone to answer to except myself... what do I want to do? What would make me happy?

I made a list of all the things I was afraid of and stared at them. Realizing how much emotion I had attached to the black and white list of to-dos. And suddenly the personal things I was dealing with evaporated. Into next steps. Bite-sized next steps. Submit a contractor request on Angie’s List and get estimates. Look up OBGYNs in Midtown. Order the toilet repair kit on Amazon.

Why do we build up the simplest things and make them so complicated?

How am I doing that in my business? How am I doing that on my website?

At the end of the day, I’m selling UX Design and Strategy to service-based businesses so that they can have a profitable online business that actually works for them and they can book the clients they love to serve. I solve problems. I take the complicated and make it simple. And today, I’m starting with myself.